难民孩童之旅3: 詹姆斯巴维

那天大概是凌晨3、4点,路上空无一人。原来在车上的五人,就这样待在路旁,其中一名妇女还抱着婴儿。之后,有人把他们一个个接走了,只剩下我。没有人来问我是否需要帮助。

最后,有个男子前来告诉我,他来自我的家乡,会带我到亚罗街见我的母亲。

事隔9年后,我第一次见到母亲。那种感觉就像来到天堂,是我人生最快乐的时刻。我抱着她痛哭,告诉她我多么想她,我多么想再次和她相聚。

除了母亲,我的哥哥也在马来西亚。他结婚了,所以我也有个嫂嫂。忽然之间,我又有了家人。

生活并不容易,我们四个大人,加上还是婴孩的侄儿同住在一间小房里。那房间好小,我躺在地板上时,手脚可以碰到对面的墙壁。

我发现在马来西亚不能上学时,整个人都崩溃了,甚至对着母亲发脾气。我问她:“(如果不能上学,)你为何把我带来这里?”

但事实是,如果我还留在缅甸,我很可能得拿着枪械走上战场。

我的心情渐渐平复后,在一家阿拉伯餐厅找到工作。我让母亲别再工作,让我们来照顾她。

之后几年,我终于存到一笔钱,租到更大的房间让家人住,也兼职读书、在移民学院(Institute of Migration)找到翻译工作,现在我也是钦邦难民协会(Association of Chin Refugees)负责人。

我在工作上遇到很多年轻难民,有些难民和我初到马来西亚时同龄,有些则比我当年更年幼。有些人是独自在这里谋生。

回首这段经历,我认为自己是幸运的。没有人拐卖或绑架我,作为一个男孩,我也没有经历其他年幼女孩或女人在途中可能会经历的事。

我知道有些女人或女孩会遭受中介性侵或性骚扰,但这是难民社群里的禁忌话题,我们不会谈论这事。幸存者会感到羞愧,不愿意述说,我也不会特别去试探他们。

我来马来西亚十年了。如今,我的家人住在美国。他们在2018年成功安置到那里,而我还在等待下一步的安排。但如果可以的话,我希望可以回去缅甸。

几年前,我看到大马警察逮捕母亲,那是很糟糕的经验。从那时候起,我决定不再当牧师。

如果我的国家平安无事,我们的人民,包括我母亲也不需要漂流到其他国家苦苦求存。即使她是没有受过教育的单亲母亲,但只要缅甸的情况还可以的话,母亲也一样能够存活下来。

所以我希望有一天可以回到缅甸参政,为了母亲和其他像她一样的人们。我想要结束在马来西亚的难民生活,而要达到这目标,我就需要改变我们的国家。那么,就没有人需要像我一样逃亡。

在家里,我们很少谈论我们艰辛的旅程。之前,每当我谈起往事我就会哭,所以母亲说,我们今后不该再说起这些往事了。

希望有那么一天,回到故土会是一件安全的事。在那之前,我会努力累积经验,建立人脉和储备知识,因为我们真的要改变我们的国家。

身为难民不是我们所选。我们只是暂时的过客。如果有机会的话,我们就会离开。我们只是需要等待机会,但这期间请给我们受教育的机会,请协助我们装备自我,让我们回去的时候就可以再建家园。


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